I'm sitting in the vehicle waiting for my daughter to be done her volley ball camp. Her camp lasts for a few hours in the morning and since it is across town we decided we would stay here and let the kids play on the play structure till she finished.
While playing, the rain came. As a result, I am sitting in the vehicle enjoying the rain that we so desperately need and have been waiting for.
I pull out angry birds (computer game) and figure I'll play a few rounds but turns out it just makes me angry and it's too hard to stop once I get started. So I pull out my scripture memory verses to practice. My mind wanders to a prayer I prayed in earnest yesterday wondering how God will choose to answer. I'm struggling with doubts. I want to believe but I realize I harbor a skeptical attitude regarding this prayer. Its not that God couldn't. I just haven't seen it much.
I stop myself and pray that God will help my unbelief. Why am I on this road again? I went through an intense time of believing God a couple of years ago and had hoped it would only grow exponentially after that. Am I not believing in this because of growing tired in waiting for other things? I have to remember that He rains down manna daily. I know that as I have been recording these gifts in a thanksgiving journal, but the form of certain blessings are so different then what I thought I wanted. Honestly, I forget.
Help me to remember. Help me to believe.
Verse 1: 1 Cr 2:9. However, as it is written; no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.
The rain has stopped. I can almost hear the ground relaxing with the moisture.
The verse. It falls like rain. Is the refreshment of it lost on dry and cracked ground?
Verse 2: 1 Pe 1:2. God the Father has His eye on each of you and is determined by the work of the Spirit to keep you obedient through the sacrifice of Jesus. May everything good from God be yours!
He sees and He knows how difficult waiting and believing is. Jesus lived it! The same Holy Spirit that worked powerfully in Jesus ministry on earth, His death, His resurrection, that same power is available to us. God keep me obedient as I wait and trust.
Waiting is hard and I wonder how long does one wait for something. I think about the rain, about my daughter, about parents waiting for children, about job applications, about illness, about engagements, about marriage commitments. My mind goes to the stories in the Bible about the Israelites in the wilderness, about Elizabeth and Zachariah waiting for a son, about Simeon waiting for the coming Messiah. My mind ponders those stories, their outcomes.
Let endurance have it's full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. Jam 1:4
Another version says, "let endurance do its perfect work." I'm understanding this to mean that while I'm waiting for this thing that is occupying me, God is working behind the scenes to complete something that I may not even be fully aware of. Short cuts won't produce the same godly character.
So while I wait for the rain, for my daughter, for an answer, for direction, I know that it is Gods will that I give thanks to him in everything. 1 Th 5: 18.
It's time to pick up my girl. It looks as though the rain is starting again. I am thankful. Thankful for this time. For the rain. For changed plans. For the time to be with my kids. For shelter in trees. For hard questions. For endurance perfecting me while I wait. For hope. For make shift dry forts under playground equipment. Fresh air through slightly opened car windows. For pick up times.
Verse 3: 1 Pe 1:13. Therefore, prepare your minds for action. Be self controlled; set your hopefully on the grace to be given when Jesus Christ is revealed.
