I was recently in a group building workshop environment. It was set up like speed dating, something I've only ever seen on TV. We had a minute to ask each other questions and were given a question sheet as a guideline if needed. It was a fun and thought provoking experience. The questions on the sheet ranged from interests and favorite trips to what would you do if you knew the world was ending in 2012. I was asked the second question and ones like it, (if there was one thing you could do before you died), enough times to solidify a few answers in my mind.
If I knew the world would end in 2012? I would want to live as fully as possible, my moments would be important, EVERYTHING would be important. Family, flavours, friends, time spent, colours, neighbors, the words I speak, what I do, what I study, reactions...I wouldn't want to waste a minute. I would want it all to count, I would want to experience God's salvation in each moment.
I read in the Psalms how David prays and am inspired by his God consciousness. I read about how he is in the heat of a moment, like fleeing for his very life, and God is his focus. How God acts and is, is central to how David acts and is. I want to live like that! Fully aware of God. Fully aware of the opportunity in each moment.
I have been inspired since the workshop to live with this kind of intention. Being thankful and counting gifts is one way to foster this. My renewed discipline of searching for gifts to be grateful .... at the end of the day my gratitude list looked something like this:
...Highlight of my lunch break was waiting in the van with the kids and choosing to indulge in their interest in story telling instead of my own impatience.
...Cucumbers in a ham and cheese sandwich.
...Eating my daughter's amazing monster cookies. The mixture of peanut butter and smarties...
...Tech support for using a new program.
...Laughing hard at the supper table together.
...Hearing my kids sing together in the car on the way to an evening movie. The care free "doo-dooing". The purity of their voices.
...The flavor of buttered popcorn.
...Sitting beside my son in a movie and watching his imagination take him into the story.
...Understanding a bit more of what memorized scripture on the tongue, our words, really means...what seemed so harsh, it's TRUTH!
...Unsolicited help for folding laundry.
How about you? What would your gratitude list look like?
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Lent, Wilberforce And A Funeral
Over the Lenten season our family has been reading from Walter Wangerin Jr.'s, "Reliving the Passion". The reflections are honest, imaginative renderings taken from the passion narrative in Mark. They invite you to be a character in the story leaving little room to choose the easy role of the indifferent bystander. One of my favorite reflections is taken from the following passage:
Mark 15:44-45,
And Pilate wondered if he were already dead; and summoning the centurion, he asked him whether he was already dead.
And when he learned from the centurion that he was already dead, he granted the body to Joseph.
Wangerin's writing beautifully explores the salvation formation that is occurring in Joseph, a man of the same religious council that earlier convicted and crucified Jesus. It explores the understanding of a kingdom which reverses the definition of power and rank as Joseph willingly surrenders his own acquired success for body of Jesus. He would rather have Jesus than anything else. He would rather have the crucified Jesus than keep his rank and power.
After reading it with the family, I look up and there's my 8 year old leaned back gripping the arm rests of his chair, eyes all wide and saying, "Wow Mom, that's intense!"
He's right! Its very intense. It's life threatening and life all at the same time. FAITH.
Last night, on Good Friday we watched "Amazing Grace" the story of William Wilberforce and the journey to the abolition of slavery.
When Wilberforce confessed faith in God in early adulthood he was already considered a promising politician. He believed the reconciliation of faith and politics were impossible. People in his life spoke into this disparity, passionately pushing him to embrace both! The biography of Wilberforce by Eric Metexas speaks into this mental wrestling match. "He saw, so to speak, the full horror of himself. God, in his mercy, had allowed Wilberforce to see himself as he truly was, and it was crushing. But Wilberforce knew God didn't mean it to end there." (67). "Surely the principles as well as the practice of Christianity are simple and lead not to meditation only, but to action." (68).
Wilberforce did decide to embrace both politics and faith in God. It was a long, hard journey where he experienced failure, disappointment and sickness. He reflects on learning to call out to a Saviour rather than try to be his own saviour. He learned much through his life of following God, "so true is it that a gracious hand leads us in ways that we know not, and blesses us not only without, but even against, our plans and inclinations" (45).
Metexas explains the following incident in the biography. It speaks of Wilberforce living wide eyed and attentive to God through everyday moments:
On witnessing a child vaccination, the infant gave up its little arm to the operator without suspicion or fear. But when it felt the puncture, which must have been sharp, no words can express the astonishment that followed. I could not have thought the mouth could have been distended so widely as it continued, till the nurses soothing restored her usual calmness. What an illustration is this of the impatient feelings we are often apt to experience, and sometimes even to express, when suffering from the dispensations of a Being, whose kindness we know to be unfailing, whose truth also is sure, and who has declared to us, that all things shall work together for good to those that love Him, and that the object of His inflictions is to make us partakers of His holiness. (270). HOPE.
At the beginning of this week we attended a funeral. It was so evident at the funeral that the man's family loved him dearly. The tributes were beautiful and laced with sentiment, and the weeping emotional. You couldn't help but feel and experience depth of sorrow. With this happening on the brink of Holy Week, my imagination went to the band of followers who became Jesus' family. The sorrow they must have felt on a day like today, on the Holy Saturday. I'm not just thinking about their confusion and fear of misplaced expectations in the wake of the death of Jesus but also of the deep sorrow of losing someone who loved them and they dearly loved in return. LOVE.
On this Holy Saturday, the day before the resurrection, the not yet, I can't help but wonder at the importance of despair, sorrow, and long suffering. Of living with eyes wide open, hoping and trusting that in our blindness, in our impatience, in our loss, that we trust enough to believe the yearning in our hearts that our loving God is completing the story He started writing many, many years ago.
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 MSG)
Mark 15:44-45,
And Pilate wondered if he were already dead; and summoning the centurion, he asked him whether he was already dead.
And when he learned from the centurion that he was already dead, he granted the body to Joseph.
Wangerin's writing beautifully explores the salvation formation that is occurring in Joseph, a man of the same religious council that earlier convicted and crucified Jesus. It explores the understanding of a kingdom which reverses the definition of power and rank as Joseph willingly surrenders his own acquired success for body of Jesus. He would rather have Jesus than anything else. He would rather have the crucified Jesus than keep his rank and power.
After reading it with the family, I look up and there's my 8 year old leaned back gripping the arm rests of his chair, eyes all wide and saying, "Wow Mom, that's intense!"
He's right! Its very intense. It's life threatening and life all at the same time. FAITH.
Last night, on Good Friday we watched "Amazing Grace" the story of William Wilberforce and the journey to the abolition of slavery.
When Wilberforce confessed faith in God in early adulthood he was already considered a promising politician. He believed the reconciliation of faith and politics were impossible. People in his life spoke into this disparity, passionately pushing him to embrace both! The biography of Wilberforce by Eric Metexas speaks into this mental wrestling match. "He saw, so to speak, the full horror of himself. God, in his mercy, had allowed Wilberforce to see himself as he truly was, and it was crushing. But Wilberforce knew God didn't mean it to end there." (67). "Surely the principles as well as the practice of Christianity are simple and lead not to meditation only, but to action." (68).
Wilberforce did decide to embrace both politics and faith in God. It was a long, hard journey where he experienced failure, disappointment and sickness. He reflects on learning to call out to a Saviour rather than try to be his own saviour. He learned much through his life of following God, "so true is it that a gracious hand leads us in ways that we know not, and blesses us not only without, but even against, our plans and inclinations" (45).
Metexas explains the following incident in the biography. It speaks of Wilberforce living wide eyed and attentive to God through everyday moments:
On witnessing a child vaccination, the infant gave up its little arm to the operator without suspicion or fear. But when it felt the puncture, which must have been sharp, no words can express the astonishment that followed. I could not have thought the mouth could have been distended so widely as it continued, till the nurses soothing restored her usual calmness. What an illustration is this of the impatient feelings we are often apt to experience, and sometimes even to express, when suffering from the dispensations of a Being, whose kindness we know to be unfailing, whose truth also is sure, and who has declared to us, that all things shall work together for good to those that love Him, and that the object of His inflictions is to make us partakers of His holiness. (270). HOPE.
At the beginning of this week we attended a funeral. It was so evident at the funeral that the man's family loved him dearly. The tributes were beautiful and laced with sentiment, and the weeping emotional. You couldn't help but feel and experience depth of sorrow. With this happening on the brink of Holy Week, my imagination went to the band of followers who became Jesus' family. The sorrow they must have felt on a day like today, on the Holy Saturday. I'm not just thinking about their confusion and fear of misplaced expectations in the wake of the death of Jesus but also of the deep sorrow of losing someone who loved them and they dearly loved in return. LOVE.
On this Holy Saturday, the day before the resurrection, the not yet, I can't help but wonder at the importance of despair, sorrow, and long suffering. Of living with eyes wide open, hoping and trusting that in our blindness, in our impatience, in our loss, that we trust enough to believe the yearning in our hearts that our loving God is completing the story He started writing many, many years ago.
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 MSG)
Monday, April 2, 2012
Remembering To Not Forget
I don't know how many years I've searched to maintain focus while busy. A lot! There have been some natural times of refocusing; like during tragedy, having babies were monumental for me, moving, job changes, failures, loss and dissatisfaction.
These times have a way of forcing introspection. This sort of inward thinking can lead to making decisions about how to proceed mentally, physically and spiritually. It is easy during these times to get defensive about where we fit into a particular situation and I know my tendency is to run to extremes saying things like, "I will NEVER do that again." I remember reading somewhere that one should never say never. I didn't think I fell prey to that extreme except that I seem to be in a "never" spot. I may not have said that I wouldn't get back here but I sure thought it.
It's busy. I have been thankful for the timing of spring break for our family and the chance to refocus.
I remember with complete fondness (as if I experienced a stroke of genius) the 15 months I took off work to settle our family in Winnipeg. I wondered if my new capacity was particularly low and if that was in reality what I was most capable of handling. I remember the redefinition. I remember faith formation. I remember a faithful God.
I am fully involved in a job right now that I didn't think I'd ever have opportunity to be involved in again. It may be short because terms have a way of ending before you're ready for them to. But the dilemma I'm in is one of focus. I like to jump into "my" situations fully, with both feet. Have I learned enough in my time of lesser to trust God in the more? Do I have enough focus to trust God for family, faith and friends? Do I trust enough to remember where I've been and where I need to go? Do I believe? I believe this particular season is a gift. Am I handing it with faith and wisdom and love?
I read stories in the Old Testament of God's love to hand pick and care for a thankless and complaining group of people. I read stories where God's desire is to grow them and deeply love them. To miraculously and undoubtedly save them from themselves and from the people around them in order that they might be a people set apart for Him. He asks for love in return. You know what's particularly striking is that He knows they will forget Him. He sends them leaders to remind them many times to not forget the love and goodness of God when times are going their way. He knew they'd forget so He set up a way of living that would facilitate them to not forget they belong to Him. He gave them so many amazing experiences that as you read you think, "how in the world could they forget". Surrounding nations didn't forget and they trembled.
But God's people did. They forgot.
I don't want to forget. I know on my own I will. I want the goodness and gift of God and I want to remember.
How? How can this be done fully? How can I remember the other areas of life that have grown and emerged in the lesser. The gift of being fully present when my kids talk to me, the joy of seeing neighbors outside, the love of stopping on walks to take in a visit or a site, the thrill of thinking through a hard question by email or engaging a surprise phone call. The necessity of preparing meals and caring for needs like laundry. The spontaneity of inviting someone over. The strength to choose a game of SORRY or mini sticks over work.
I just finished reading through Eugene Peterson's memoir: The Pastor. In it he talks about a pastor named Alexander Whyte. Peterson admired him very much and although no longer alive, Whyte became a sort of mentor for him. Through searching and reading Peterson observed something about Whyte that I think is key for my own query right now. He says of Whyte, "It soon became clear that there was no pretense in the man. He took his pulpit seriously, he took his congregation seriously, but he didn't take himself seriously." (227)
During this holy week we set out to remember a loving and sacrificial God. He came to show that we can (because of Jesus) put to death old patterns of living and follow the Jesus way wherever He places us for the season. Remembering God helps us put to death self, keeping me from taking myself too seriously.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
These times have a way of forcing introspection. This sort of inward thinking can lead to making decisions about how to proceed mentally, physically and spiritually. It is easy during these times to get defensive about where we fit into a particular situation and I know my tendency is to run to extremes saying things like, "I will NEVER do that again." I remember reading somewhere that one should never say never. I didn't think I fell prey to that extreme except that I seem to be in a "never" spot. I may not have said that I wouldn't get back here but I sure thought it.
It's busy. I have been thankful for the timing of spring break for our family and the chance to refocus.
I remember with complete fondness (as if I experienced a stroke of genius) the 15 months I took off work to settle our family in Winnipeg. I wondered if my new capacity was particularly low and if that was in reality what I was most capable of handling. I remember the redefinition. I remember faith formation. I remember a faithful God.
I am fully involved in a job right now that I didn't think I'd ever have opportunity to be involved in again. It may be short because terms have a way of ending before you're ready for them to. But the dilemma I'm in is one of focus. I like to jump into "my" situations fully, with both feet. Have I learned enough in my time of lesser to trust God in the more? Do I have enough focus to trust God for family, faith and friends? Do I trust enough to remember where I've been and where I need to go? Do I believe? I believe this particular season is a gift. Am I handing it with faith and wisdom and love?
I read stories in the Old Testament of God's love to hand pick and care for a thankless and complaining group of people. I read stories where God's desire is to grow them and deeply love them. To miraculously and undoubtedly save them from themselves and from the people around them in order that they might be a people set apart for Him. He asks for love in return. You know what's particularly striking is that He knows they will forget Him. He sends them leaders to remind them many times to not forget the love and goodness of God when times are going their way. He knew they'd forget so He set up a way of living that would facilitate them to not forget they belong to Him. He gave them so many amazing experiences that as you read you think, "how in the world could they forget". Surrounding nations didn't forget and they trembled.
But God's people did. They forgot.
I don't want to forget. I know on my own I will. I want the goodness and gift of God and I want to remember.
How? How can this be done fully? How can I remember the other areas of life that have grown and emerged in the lesser. The gift of being fully present when my kids talk to me, the joy of seeing neighbors outside, the love of stopping on walks to take in a visit or a site, the thrill of thinking through a hard question by email or engaging a surprise phone call. The necessity of preparing meals and caring for needs like laundry. The spontaneity of inviting someone over. The strength to choose a game of SORRY or mini sticks over work.
I just finished reading through Eugene Peterson's memoir: The Pastor. In it he talks about a pastor named Alexander Whyte. Peterson admired him very much and although no longer alive, Whyte became a sort of mentor for him. Through searching and reading Peterson observed something about Whyte that I think is key for my own query right now. He says of Whyte, "It soon became clear that there was no pretense in the man. He took his pulpit seriously, he took his congregation seriously, but he didn't take himself seriously." (227)
During this holy week we set out to remember a loving and sacrificial God. He came to show that we can (because of Jesus) put to death old patterns of living and follow the Jesus way wherever He places us for the season. Remembering God helps us put to death self, keeping me from taking myself too seriously.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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