Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Thoughts from a Tuesday Morning Commute

We have a tradition in our house that we pray for our kids on the short drive to the school each morning. I am single parenting for much of the week and so it was me dropping the kids off at school. On the Tuesday morning commute Alexander started praying at about the same point in the drive that Dave usually does! I was so moved by his "copying" act and was reminded of the importance of Deuteronomy 6:7-9 which says,

Impress [these commands] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

I have been hearing and reading a lot lately about the ministry of parenting, in particular mothering. I don't remember hearing much about parenting when I was growing up and to my parents and teachers credit maybe I wasn't interested in listening. I have vivid recollections of marriage conversations and prayers prayed nightly by my Dad about the spouse God was preparing for me. Beyond that there was an underlying assumption that after marriage came family.

The topic, however, that received priority attention and conversation especially at school was career choice. We had assemblies and classes concerned with guiding our course selection in high school so that you could study what you wanted in order to get the career you desired. In our school we even had extra such classes just for the girls. The school, in particular my junior high vice principle was very intentional about making these meetings happen. These discussions and the passion with which they were presented had a big affect on my thinking and planning and dreaming in high school, college and early career years.

Now to be clear, this post isn't about continuing education because I believe it is extremely valuable for developing learning and thinking skills as well as necessary for careers. The point I am trying to make is that good parenting doesn't happen by accident. I know because I have made a lot of mistakes by thinking it might. Just as we believe education will prepare a person for the workplace, specific godly teaching and modelling will prepare our children for future living in family. I am learning that it is never too early to be age-appropriately teaching our children the importance of purity in dating relationships and of commitment in the marriage. Just as we need to be intentional about nurturing our own faith, we need to be looking for ways to grow faith in our children and their interactions with life. I remember being inspired by the forward in a book where the author acknowledged his parents faithful teaching of God in their home and how their love for God affected his faith journey as a child and as a grown man. He called his parents home-schoolers in the faith.

A couple of years ago I received a hand printed note from my middle daughter saying that when she grew up she wanted to be a Mom! I think that is one of the greatest compliments ever and did not feel worthy of it. Boy did it ever make me desire to be a better Mom! There is so much of being a Mom that I am learning but what is most important for me is to continually purpose to know God more. In doing this I believe we will desire to reflect the love of God in the moments that make up a day, that we will desire to actually recognize and make the most of a teachable situation and that we will be purposeful about creating those situations that maximize learning. One of the hardest parts of the parenting journey for me has been taking captive every reaction that comes from my being and making it obedient to God. I desire to love my children deeply and to respond in love rather than selfishly responding based on my needs and agenda at that moment.

I was watching and listening to some worship music online the other night and came across a video interview with Darlene Zschech. She was referring to motherhood and encouraged listeners to remember that God's callings are irreversible. We don't have to feel like we are missing out on something if we choose to honour His primary calling on our lives for a certain season. The Holy Spirit will help us understand these seasons.

What encouraging words.
The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it! 1 Thessalonians 5:24

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