It was after the second question that one of my children said, "oh, yah...can you sign this?"
I said, "sure, just bring it here."
Seconds later the child brought it to me and as I glanced over the form gave an incredulous look! It was entitled, "Talking about Changes Interview."
On the form were 7 questions about growing up and puberty.
By now we were down to two minutes.
I said, "Sweetie, we can't cover this now. These are good questions and I would love time with you on this"
...after a bit more discussion we settled by making a date and time for this discussion.
This definitely isn't our first discussion on the matter and won't our last either. We work at being open about these topics taking and making opportunities to talk through them. I pray often for the kids to be surrounded by people they trust so that there are others they can talk to that love them and speak godly words into their lives in a loving way.
Even if I struggle for the courage myself, I don't believe it benefits our kids to be scared of or to ignore "growing up" topics. The Book study group we are a part of right now is going through "The Reason For God." We all have doubts and issues we struggle with in life and the author, Timothy Keller argues that;
Believers should acknowledge and wrestle with doubts - not only their own but their friends' and neighbours'. It is no longer sufficient to hold beliefs just because you inherited them. Only if you struggle long and hard with objections to your faith will you be able to provide grounds for your beliefs to skeptics, including yourself, that are plausible rather than ridiculous or offensive.
What does this have to do with addressing issues of sexuality with ones child you ask? For starters I think about the impact of media on these issues. Our culture fosters an ideal image, it teaches using feminine powers for personal gain, sexuality is portrayed as a casual fling rather than a God given gift for a lifelong commitment. In these issues alone I believe there are doubts and fears and beliefs to be wrestled with not only for our children but for us as well - issues such as what we believe about ourselves, about God's design for marriage, about making the choice to following God resolutely (See *Psalm 119:9, 30, 36, 59 and so many others!). If we are to sympathize with our children and young adults and friends at church and in our neighbourhood as well as our own personal situations we would be wise to take time to struggle through these issues, to find God's way in them and strive to grow in stronger faith in God through them.
I am definitely no expert on this and am thankful for authors such as Vicky Courtney and Dr. Kevin Leman who speak into these issues with godly advice. I do know however, that as inept as I feel about parenting, God has called me to it. I want to be faithful.
*Psalm 119: 9, 30, 36, 59 (NIV)
How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to Your Word.
I have chosen the way of truth;
I have set my heart on Your Laws.
Turn my heart toward Your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.
I have considered my ways
and have turned my steps to Your Statutes.
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